Grief thoughts

O.K. so I broke the number one rule of blogs and did not post for ages. Sorry! I promise to be better.

Good news with William. During the 4th teacher conference she asked if anything was going on at home. I said, well, my Dad died a few months ago and we are all dealing with that. Her eyes got big and she said, "Oh, I forgot about that. That could totally explain what I am seeing with Will's behavior." I think as she started viewing him with compassion, he responded and we have gotten nothing but good reports ever since!

Which brings me to my thoughts on grief. I feel really alone in my grief. There are many factors to this: 1) I am really young to have already lost both parents. Most of my peers haven't been through this and it is hard for them to relate. 2)I live half way around the world from all those who knew and loved him and are grieving. 3)The stigma of suicide keeps people from talking about it.

My Dad broke my heart and Dad's are not supposed to break their little girl's hearts. I wish he could have seen through the veil of depression how much we needed him, how much we loved him.

Through it all, my heavenly Father has been so tenderly close to me and perfectly loving me. It is an intensely, intimate, learning time for me as so often happens during crisis. For this I am thankful and gain the strength to continue walking through the valley of death.